HT to Relarela for this one.
Studies show that heavy Facebook use gives you about half the support you’d get from being married. That was stated to prove how supportive FB can be.
“Facebook users get more overall social support, and in particular they report more emotional support and companionship than other people,” wrote Hampton in a blog post. “And, it is not a trivial amount of support. Compared to other things that matter for support — like being married or living with a partner — it really matters. Frequent Facebook use is equivalent to about half the boost in support you get from being married.”
To me it’s rather ominous. I don’t use Facebook. Does that make me the 21st-century equivalent of the hermit monk in the woods?
Then again, perhaps it’s news of hope. Just think: the modern single can hack their way to happiness with a few simple steps. Get a dog for oxytocin, Facebook for support, plus a few trusted friends just in case. Bingo! You’re operating at over 85% the emotional support of marriage with none of the stress. Sounds great, right?
Right.
No, really.
Bad for Shidduchim 
What about the ones that can get into facebook at times but then get too busy to keep up > part hermet, part maried? 🙂
this is just depressing. facebook for support? really? So that random girl you befriended in venezuela or that high school acquaintance that has become your “buddy” are now partial replacement for a spouse. Thats either putting really high hopes on facebook or very low hopes in a spouse.
Read Bowling Alone. Americans in the general population today are isolated and have very few close friends or true support networks. (B”H we do a bit better in the frum world but we’re certainly not immune to the problem. And often women are expected to have a network via their husbands, ha ha ha.) So sure, compared to nothing, a lot of Facebook will help; but reality’s even better.
Kew Gardener –
“Better in the frum world”? That’s only for the guys because we go to minyan and chavrusa so even if we work with non-Jewish coworkers all day that we couldn’t give two flips about, at night we have our chavrusah and minyan. But unless you live in the Heights, it seems to me that most single girls never get out except for work. So what other support do they have besides Facebook? I have Facebook, butg never use it becuase I do not get support from it. 😛
so even if we work with non-Jewish coworkers all day that we couldn’t give two flips about, at night we have our chavrusah and minyan.
You will enjoy your work more if you find things to like about your non-Jewish coworkers. If your work situation is truly horrible, I sympathize, but that’s probably not inherently due to the fact that your coworkers are non-Jews. Make an effort.
tesyaa:
Oh, my work situation is not terrible at all. I get along great with my boss and coworker (true half of them are Asian so they have very different personalities than us) But the relationships are all fake. The whole being pc and friendly. It’s not real. I can talk and laugh with these guys, but it’s not the same as with friends, and chavrusas.
I still live for the weekends when I can go back to NY (I moved for a job) to see my friends and family; and not just because I’m not working, but because I’m around people I care about.
Kew Gardener Women have shiurim to ever hear of ohr Nava
bad4shidduchim –
I found your blog googling Myers-Brigg’s personality stuff. I am not Jewish, so I’m ignorant to a lot of terms you and your commentators use. But I am really enjoying your blog. Just thought I’d tell you. 🙂
here some better advice
Always glad to hear! Thanks Melissa.
Eight hugs a day keeps the doldrums away… 😀 Awesome.
I definitely know a few non-jewish single 40+ yr old women from work who live on Facebook. It consumes their social life and provides them with positive social reinforcement. I think they use it to avoid real life.