Just Being Polite, Impolitely

Ezzie’s post on the economics of dating reminded me of one particularly obvious courtesy date.

The guy had come in from OOT, and it was assume (that is, I assumed) that we would go out twice (at least) while he was in town.

The first time he was clearly aiming to impress. Prime Grill? Are you kidding? I didn’t know where to look on the menu. Finally I decided to aim for middle top and went for some kind of fancy chicken. Then he asked me which appetizer I wanted. Who orders appetizers? Guys on first dates with girls they’ve never met, apparently. The appetizer was an amazing concoction of avocado that was almost too pretty to eat.

It wasn’t a bad date. Not amazing either, but not bad. I would have thought that a second date was in order in any case, but it became apparently quickly that this guy had already made up his mind. The second date was strictly to be polite.

Date two involved a wintry walk along the Hudson punctuated only by a brief stop in a trendy coffee shop. “Let’s sit down and drink,” I suggested, when he made to leave the store, cup in hand.

“Can’t,” he explained. “They charge you an extra 75 cents to sit down.”

“Oh, well then,” I said. I laced both hands around the warm cup, turned up my collar, and followed him outside.

Well, at least he had his eyes on the economics of things.

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8 thoughts on “Just Being Polite, Impolitely

  1. At least he was being honest. Honesty is the best policy.

    Second only to Thou shant be a total and complete jerk.

    What is the point of a “polite” second date if you’re not gong to be, well, polite?

  2. What a moron. He tried to impress you on the first date. Then on the second date he decided – what? That you have no friends and it doesn’t matter what you think of him? This is a very big loser, glad you didn’t waste more time on him.

  3. Oh come on. That’s like complaining that someone isn’t willing to pay extra to use a bathroom. It’s not about the cash, it’s about the principle. Paying $15 for an appetizer in a nice restaurant is totally, totally different.

    Guys don’t ask girls on second dates to indicate that they don’t want to go on a third date -that’s just illogical.

  4. Seriously, any guy taking the girl to a super fancy place like prime grill (or even anywhere fancier than a basic coffee shop) on date 1 is trying way too hard to impress and being taken for a ride. Some girls encourage this and like to take advantage (even if they’re the one with the well paying job!). I recently went out with a girl I’m pretty sure was actually looking for that kind of treatment, I think she was shocked when I said we’re just going to a starbucks to talk for a while. If things are going really well after a few dates THEN you move it up to restaurants, otherwise it’s all show and nothing is serious.

  5. Wow! You dodged a bullet on this guy. The old line about looking at how someone treats the guy who opens the door and the wait staff is so durable because it reflects the truth. A guy treats you just a bit better than garbage because he doesn’t “need” to impress you is NOT someone worth marrying – or spending any energy on.

    SOL, if a guy ever told me (or my daughter) that the bathroom is off limits because the place charges to use it, you can be sure that that would be the last date! Even if he made it clear that it was “not the money but the principle of the thing.”

  6. ihyby- if you ever take a girl to a starbucks at dinner time after work, i hope she poisons your coffee. a date at mealtime means food. the end. you get out exactly what you put in.

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