Thursday Link (Early): Dating Feedback

WotWentWrong exists because, it seems, I’m not the only person who goes on perfectly amiable dates and doesn’t get another one after. Sometimes you just wonder, why?

Not that I’d ever wonder to the point of asking, though. Not directly, and not through some third-party website. Heck, I rarely bother to ask the shadchan.

Still, the idea is there. This website has set itself up as a shadchan for the masses, ready to relay messages back and forth between parties, ranging from, “Let’s step this up a notch” to “If you would eat your soup instead of shoveling it, dinner dates with you would be much more enticing.” Except they promise to be more polite.

Good idea? Not? Who knows. I’ll never use it because I tend to have a shadchan involved. Would you?

PS: Do you think these guys set this up just so they could read people’s absurd, broken-hearted emails to each other?


3 thoughts on “Thursday Link (Early): Dating Feedback

  1. While there may be some people who constantly torpedo their own chances, for most of us it is about the other person not being for them.

    If the feedback is mostly “I happen to not like this and this about you” – well, someone else will be okay with it. Move on.

  2. I generally make a point of asking a shadchan why a certain girl said no to the match or a second date, although I very rarely get an honest answer back, usually just excuses (even the shadchan can’t seem to pry the answer out of them). I try to be as transparent and direct as possible when explaining my side so the shadchan can take these things into account next time, hopefully making a better suggestion. I’ve gotten the feeling that most of the girls do not do the same.

  3. Terrible idea. Plus sometimes it’s beneficial for me for a girl not to know what she’s doing wrong. That way when I date her I can see her true side, or at least what she messes up on. And from there I can make a real decision whether she’s for me.

    For instance I went out with a girl once who told me she wants to marry a learning guy but her parents are poor and she doesn’t have a real job as she didn’t go to college. So she’s forced to date working guys but does not agree with their hashkafa.

    Well that was it for me! I’m not gonna be the sucker. Now if some guy had given her feedback that she shouldn’t say things like that. I may have married her and had to put up with her my entire life telling me she doesn’t agree with what I do. No thanks.

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