18 thoughts on “Every Pot…

  1. I actually know this guy personally and he is a real character but a super great guy. Mazal tov to him – we’re so excited and still in a little bit of shock!

  2. Don’t want to nitpick, it is wow 🙂 – but I thought you’re not supposed to wear any jewelry under the chuppah?

  3. I concur – it’s great that they got married, but advertising his not dating anyone below 35 is simply offensive.

    To be dan lekaf zechus, he may very well have wanted to marry someone capable of having children and be at less risk for complications (the chance for a Down Syndrome child goes up dramatically as a woman ages). If this were the case, it would have been worthwhile to say that in the article, rather than he was looking for someone young and pretty.

  4. nitpicker: According to Tammei Minhagim, jewelry is removed before the chuppah room, but there is no mention of it being removed before the chuppah. After all, Chava was underneath the chuppah with 24 pieces of bling, no? 🙂

    It always frightened me the idea of my jewelry wandering all over the room . . . shiver.

    What I love is how they did an impromptu wedding, with some Chinese takeout. While I like a big wedding as much as the next person, I think if I met “the one” I wouldn’t care what the surroundings were.

    No money? No worries! Have a minimalist ceremony. It’s in!

    The modern elopement. Loving it.

  5. I L.O.V.E the weirdness of this wedding! And I also was pretty scandalized by the “no one over 35” coming from a 57 year old, but I do think it’s probably related to her being able/willing to still have kids. I definitely hope so. Otherwise, wow.
    Yea, that should’ve been made clear in the article.
    Still, the blue shirt for him and cable-knit sweater for her.. gotta love it.

  6. Princess Lea- at the chuppa it is customary for the kallah to give her jewelry to her single friends to hold as a segulah for them to get married. I held my friends earing at her wedding. Believe me, I was terrified to lose it.

    This is a beautiful story. B”H.

  7. Yeah, I hear over 35. If you want kids and you don’t want them to have down syndrome, then over 35 is too old.

    I used to date girls older than me, but the older I get the lower that number rises. I don’t date girls older than me anymore, becuase I want at least 5 kids and don’t want any down syndrome. So yeah, when I’m 40 I’ll be trying to date 30 year olds, and when I’m 57 I’ll be trying to date 35 year olds (assuming I’m single 😛 ).

  8. iyhby, a person can make all sorts of calculations, but when it comes down to it, there are no guarantees in life. About anything.

    My thoughts about the article: very nice for the couple and I hope they have many happy years together. I’ll reserve judgement on the the ” needing someone beautiful” and “under 35” because it’s possible those comments were taken out of context or exaggerated. What bothered me was the way the article was actually written, the author saying that the couple’s story blows away stereotypes of older singles as being too picky. Um, no, it doesn’t–totally the opposite; rather, (based on the quotes she included) it only serves to confirm them!

  9. Atrocious demand. I wonder where people are getting that having kids after 35 automatically means down syndrome. None of the families with autistic kids I know even have mothers over 35. This is not a product of age in our community, it is evidently something else.

    At 57 (almost 60!) he’s in no position to be demanding much of anything. Frankly if I was the shadchan, and that’s what some 60 year old told me, I would say come back when you’re serious about marriage. You want kids? It’s called adoption. You’re not some hollywood celebrity that can get away with only dating women half your age.

  10. not wearing jewelry under the chuppah is merely a fashionable minhag. I dont think it was terribly wide spread a generation ago. Still its not ugly like the chasan wearing a rain coat.

    The problem is not that almost 60 year old men wont date anyone over 35, boys will be boys, but that some one who is considered an important shaddchan can apparently see not wrong with it points to a real problem in the “system”

  11. I can personally count at least 3-4 mothers I know who gave birth Down Syndrome children in their early-mid 20s. And the vast majority of births to women over age 35 are not Down Syndrome babies. And as another commenter points out, there’s plenty of autism and other disabilities to go around no matter what age the mother is (not to mention infertility, even among young women, so if you’re counting on 5 kids you’d better be prepared to divorce your wife, if you even get one, if she’s infertile).

    iyhby, I know you think you are being funny and flippant and riling up the crowd, but you’re just tasteless. I hope you’re not representative of young “yeshivish” guys.

  12. Anonymous – I’m not trying to be funny or rile up the crowd. I’m being serious and I still am. You can quote all these stories about cases you know and I can list of the cases I know and statistics that prove my point. But I won’t because you’ll just bring studies to prove against me. The point is I believe that it is unsafe to have ids at an older age and many people agree with me as well and no matter how many cases you tell someone where that didn’t happen, you’re not gonna sway anyone.

    I’m not trying to be humorous. I’m making a definitive point that I firmly agree with. The article made it seem like this guy just wants some young hotty. I’m sure that’s not exactly how it was. We all crave to bring up someone who’s from us. And if one has a belief that it’s unsafe past a certain age, good for him to try to get someone who can give him his kids.

    I personally know a guy who did not get married till his mid-40s and found someone 35. He pumped her with drugs to make sure they had a kid asap. Well of course they had twins, but point is, he didn’t want to wait.

    Learn the facts and stop being so judgmental. You can say I’m not being a good representative of yeshiva guys, but you’re not being a good representative of frum people is general.

  13. “pumped her full of drugs” because of course there is no chance that huge doses of hormones will cause health problems later in life.. Oh well if his wife dies of breast cancer at 50, at least he has plenty of kids.

  14. If you’re not appealing enough to get married young and find a wife young enough to get you your kids, maybe life is trying to tell you something.

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