Where I’ve Been & What I’ve Learned

It’s been busy the past couple of weeks, and that wasn’t helped by the power outages. Although, to be fair, I wasn’t in a position to appreciate their magnitude, since I was camping. Headlamp light and water from a mountain spring. Civilization is crumbling? How fascinating. Tell me about it.

Now, I am under no illusions that I am entirely unique. Therefore, I’d like to pass on words of wisdom for anyone who might have thought to try what I just did today: drive directly from a wilderness jaunt to some light dating. My advice: don’t do it. You will discover too late that all those bottles and jars in your bathroom that you figured you could live without for a week are actually profoundly essential.  Assuming you can wash the eau de campfire out of your hair, you still face a dire situation. You may find, for the first time in your life, that you wish that a bathroom had hot-air blowing hand dryers instead of paper towels. But if you surmount that hurdle, there’s yet another, greater obstacle to overcome. And no, my friends. Your car mirror is no substitute for a bathroom mirror when it comes to putting on makeup, even when you have 200 lumens of Coleman’s brightest to help out. And seriously, who thought that a mirror in a compact was going to be any help whatsoever? It’s just shtick.

Anyway, greetings from Starbucks, a bastion of wi-fi and other mainstays of civilization. I’ll see you again when the grid goes back up.

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9 thoughts on “Where I’ve Been & What I’ve Learned

  1. My sympathies. Our power has been out for 5+ days here in the MidAtlantic. No fun! I learned that dates can be postponed due to bad conditions as a result of continued power outages.

  2. Perhaps you’re being set up with the wrong guys – whatever happened to ‘Sensitive Wild Man’ ?

  3. Rebbetzin – Not always. Like when someone is visiting and has to leave.
    Anon – Do they exist outside of movies?
    Princess Lea – I did mention it. But I was barely putting any on, by your standards. I think it took about five minutes, and was a massive upgrade over my usual, because I used eyeshadow.

  4. Wait, I thought the power in Beverly Hills was supposed to come back on Wednesday afternoon.

  5. @Bad4, Yes, Anon’s Sensitive Wild Man (I sense another 3-letter-abbreviation for your Glossary) does exist. He’s as frum as you are but feels more like himself in an IDF uniform than in a suit (if he even owns one).

  6. Are you referring to anyone particular, or are you suggesting I start dating Nachal Chareidi guys?

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