From a young friend, recently back from seminary, first attempting to land a date, and finding it less than intuitive:
“I wasn’t fully prepared for it at all. I mean, I’ve lived independently for two years now, go to college, make my own meals, I’m responsible for my own health and other important decisions, but I can’t assert any measure of control over my dating life? It’s just so weird and unsettling. And it isn’t romantic at all. Not that I’ve been on any dates yet, but still. It doesn’t feel nice at all.”
Tell me about it. It’s an odd feeling to be a highly capable human being, trusted with life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, drinking, gambling, voting, and huge responsibilities at work, but unable to get a date on one’s own power.
Effort is commensurate to return in so many aspects of your life. And yet, on this very key subject, you’re entirely helpless.
You pay the rent to live like you’re grown
You’re never behind on payments for your phone
But you can’t pick out a date on your own:
You must wait for an idea from the shadchan.
At work you spend $40k before lunch
Your boss calls for you when he’s in a crunch
But you can’t get together with a boy for lunch
Without the suggestion of a shadchan.
You sock cash away in your 401k
You pack healthy brown bag for lunch every day
You attend a shiur and live the right way
But you can’t get a date without a shadchan.
You can drink alcohol responsibly
You can vote for the leader of our country
You can buy a ticket for the lottery
Which is like waiting for a date from the shadchan.
Your life is your own for 365
Only you control the things that keep you alive
But if you want a drone to help in your hive
You’ll have to wait to hear from a shadchan.
…okay, okay. Not a drone. But I was running out of rhymes, okay?