Don’t you love connecting dots and projecting lines through them? My high school teacher insisted that it only takes three points to make a line, which opens the field deliciously for noting correlations. Sadly, some of my favorite dating correlations still have only two points to prove them. So, in an effort to gather more data, I’m asking for reader contribution. Let me know if you’ve had any similar experiences. It’s for the sake of statistics.
Line Segment #1: Pants and Debates
I have only dated two guys who mentioned their pants on a date. One mentioned spilling water all over his before the date. The other mentioned taking his off. (It really wasn’t so bad in context.)
Both guys also jumped down my throat when I fielded an opinion they didn’t like, and we wound up arguing for an absurdly long time. Personally, I think two Jews should be able to share three opinions between them without feeling threatened by each other. I am disturbed when a guy can’t even handle two.
I have never come home from a date saying, “Can you believe he thinks Andy Warhol was a real artist? I can never go out with such a guy.” Some of my best friends have bad taste in art. It doesn’t detract from their charm.
But I have come home saying, “We disagreed over whether 17th-century metaphysical poetry or or cavalier poetry was better, and he just wouldn’t let it lie. He kept coming back and arguing that Ben Johnson had the beauty of accessibility, and how on earth could I enjoy someone as convoluted as John Donne? Does he feel threatened by my tastes in poetry? That’s so loserish.”
So, has anyone else gone out with an argumentative date who mentioned his pants?
Line Segment #2: Walks in the Park and Indecisiveness
Only twice has a guy put me on hold for weeks to a month before deciding that, actually, he wants to go out again.
Both of those guys claimed to have been discomfited by a walk in Prospect Park. In one case, the gentleman was disturbed by the feel of dirt under his shoes (he preferred concrete). In the other case, the gentleman said he was thrown off by walking with no purpose or destination in mind.
So: has anyone else noticed that men who don’t like walking in parks have a difficult time making a decision?
Line Segment #3: The Bill and Me
How about restaurant first dates? I’ve noticed an odd thing: after almost every dinner date, a dating streak ends. It could be the first date or the second, but 6 times out of 7, it’s also the last date.
Do guys compare the thrill of my company to the cost of the bill and decide that I’m not worth it? Or are my table manners just that bad? Has anyone else had this experience?