Quote of the Weekend: Status Discrimination Starts Early

I’m used to my grandmother calling 70-year-old spinsters “girls,” but it’s a bit unnerving when the younger generation displays the same prejudices.

Conversation on the school playground:

Preschool teacher: “Shua, don’t push Joey on the swing. We have a rule: no kids pushing kids on swings. You could get hurt.”

Shua: “Then you can’t push anyone either. You’re a kid.”

Teacher: “Aw, that’s so nice. Do I really look that young?”

Shua: “No, but you’re not married, so you’re a kid.”


I’ve never liked this business of being a girl until marriage. I think it’s demeaning. (Some opinions claim that you’re still just a married girl until you have children. It just never ends, does it?)

Of course,  being single will be something to hide as long as you get discriminated against for it. Another teacher once told me that she gets her paychecks 6 months late, while the married teachers get theirs only 3 months late. It’s assumed that her need to pay rent or feed herself is not as urgent. To which I say: have you ever tried paying rent in a singles community? Kollel community basements can be pretty cheap by comparison.


8 thoughts on “Quote of the Weekend: Status Discrimination Starts Early

  1. I dunno, I liked being a “girl” for about the first 20 years I was married! I didn’t find it demeaning at all. And now, on the rare occasions that someone refers to me that way, I am thrillled!

  2. Oh, & bad4, it’s the same for single guys. When I was engaged, my husb. told me they the camp he worked in just paid him (this was in the winter) cuz they heard he was engaged. The single guys never got their paychecks.

  3. 1. Before marriage men are “boys”. It seems incongruous when a twenty five year old female is set up with a “boy”
    2. It is outrageous that there is any lag in pay. The system is discriminatory towards young women and exploits them in so many ways But this is the wrong venue for that.

  4. bad4, count your blessings. working far, far away from the frum world means they prefer you unattached and pay both well and on time. i guess the issue is that that makes work more attractive than home, and home harder to deal with.

  5. M. Yes. Problem I have just run into. I am officially having too much fun to get married. How bad is that?

  6. you’re doomed, except to a persistent suitor who is willing and able to sufficiently and successfully raise the stakes in his favor. godspeed.

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