Most people try to be polite. Being polite means not saying things like, “My dear, you are a hopeless cause. Don’t bother sending me your shidduch information because there is no chance on earth that I will find anyone willing to marry you in this lifetime.” Instead, it means saying things like, “Yes, of course! I have boys over every Shabbos. Tell me what you’re looking for so I’ll know if any of them are right.”
When I was young and naive and took people’s words at their literal value, this led to frustration and hurt. Now I can usually tell when both I and the shadchan are going through the motions: me dutifully visiting a shadchan in the hope that it counts as hishtadlus, and the shadchan dutifully interviewing me so as not to hurt my feelings.
For all that, I have actually received about six dates from the 40 or so would-be and professional shadchanim that I have visited, called, emailed, and filled out questionnaires for. I give them due credit and thanks for at least trying.