Friday Repost – You Make Me Feel Three: A Taxonomy of Shadchanim Who Should Not Exist

Most people try to be polite. Being polite means not saying things like, “My dear, you are a hopeless cause. Don’t bother sending me your shidduch information because there is no chance on earth that I will find anyone willing to marry you in this lifetime.” Instead, it means saying things like, “Yes, of course! I have boys over every Shabbos. Tell me what you’re looking for so I’ll know if any of them are right.”

When I was young and naive and took people’s words at their literal value, this led to frustration and hurt. Now I can usually tell when both I and the shadchan are going through the motions: me dutifully visiting a shadchan in the hope that it counts as hishtadlus, and the shadchan dutifully interviewing me so as not to hurt my feelings.

For all that, I have actually received about six dates from the 40 or so would-be and professional shadchanim that I have visited, called, emailed, and filled out questionnaires for. I give them due credit and thanks for at least trying.


2 thoughts on “Friday Repost – You Make Me Feel Three: A Taxonomy of Shadchanim Who Should Not Exist

  1. Your system sounds more and more like every excruciating job search I’ve ever endured. Except recruiters usually don’t take pity on you, but their cut is so much bigger than even a shadchan’s that it’s worth their while to do the polite interview even if the odds are ridiculously low.

  2. Here’s my $ 0.02′ s worth of ideas here. Instead of going through the Proyfessional [OY VEI ] Shadchan root. Try your best freiends and relatives. It’s less taxing and might work vonders and miracles … No use getting mad at the Matchmaker who knows only enough to suggest that front tooth missing [Yucks] member of the other side would be purrfect shidduch for you [maybe he/she is loaded in his/her pocketbook] … whoops … hmmm … Mr.Billy Gates just released Windows 8 … Who’d Want to marry him [if he’s not taken]…. now I step down and vish you all a gut Shabbes.

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