You know those soppy sonnets about how her eyes are blue as the sky, her lips as red as a rose, etc? Well, it’s about time someone updated the concept, don’t you think? This poem was inspired by two separate comments regarding my hair both made by geeky types.
Geek: I would love to calculate the Hooke’s Law constant for your hair.
Me: Awwww…. I think. (Well, at least it’s a step up from “Can I pull one? Please?”)
Why stop there? A romantic geek could keep going, putting all his love into scientific and mathematical metaphors. I know this sonnet isn’t quite at the level of John Donne, my poetic hero, but it’s a start. I hope it inspires a new wave of geeky love poetry for the age.
The Love Poem of J. Alfred Einstein
I love to gaze at your beautiful eyes
Reflecting wavelength 754
I cannot maintain a realistic guise
That your hair’s cysteine bonds hold no allure.
The Hooke’s Law constant I would calculate
For every curl that you’ll ever grow
But Oh! I simply cannot concentrate
For you define the golden ratio.
Around you time passes at the speed of C,
And matters compress to Boson size
The answer’s always 1 for P(A&B)
Because I have already won the prize.
You be a charm quark and a strange I’ll be
And we’ll match our spins through eternity.
Might as well take up rap “music”!
BTW, “…speed of C” is redundant. (“C” = “speed of light”)
Speaking of Einstein, he hypothesized nothing travels faster than the speed of light. The Rebbe, on the other hand, thought differently:
Ya know how hard it is to get the right number of syllables per line? I’m leaving the speed.
“..speed of light” also has the same number of syllables as “…speed of C” while still containing an Einsteinian term.
FYI, Albert Einstein himself wrote love letters. 54 of the ones he wrote to his fist wife appear in the book, “Albert Einstein/Mileva Maric: The Love Letters.”
Awesome, awesome poem!!
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