The response to the Crushing post left me curious. I have some questions.
Guys who ditch girls after 2 hours of no first-date sparks: do you find that you “spark” frequently enough that this is a reasonable dating strategy? Like, 75% of the time? 45%? 90%? Or does it not matter, because immediate pyrotechnics are simply mandatory?
Have you never found that a woman “grows” on you? Like, ever?
Girls – hypothetically, if you used “sparks” as a criteria for second dates, what percentage of your dates would make it to date two? Because I think only 6% of mine would have made it, and one of those guys was a first-class jerk, so make that even less. That would have freed up a great deal of my time, but it also would have thrown out some of the nicest, most promising guys. (Then again, I’m still single, so maybe I should take up this strategy after all.)
I wouldn’t call it “sparks,” in my case. Either I am sitting across from a guy and feel dead inside (meaning I would completely forget about him as soon as I leave the coffee shop) or I would like to have a conversation with him again. Does that mean “sparks”?
Probably around your 6% number also…Usually it’s just that I enjoyed having a conversation with him and would want to have another one. It’s not like I come back and say “Omg…that was the best date ever.,,,I can’t wait to see him again!!!”
Yes yoiu ARE Single … no doubt about That!
Happy new year [and yes we can say it!] … Hashem yispor Bichsov Amim [see tehilim]
I find it curious that you think men are the big offenders in this.
I had always thought women were more likely to be dropping after 1 or 2 for lack of sparks. I thought men drop after 1 or 2 because of looks.
In any event, I don’t know why the spark rate would matter. After all, if you imagine the real measure of success is getting (happily) married, then all singles have a zero percent success rate on any system they use. And if I think that I need that to form a relationship, then who says I’m wrong?
I haven’t dated enough girls to have an analysis on the percentage of the girls I have or haven’t had a spark with, but most girls I’ve gone out with I enjoyed spending time with and wanted to see again. The few times I haven’t, I gave it another go. There are so many circumstances that can explain away why a first date didn’t go well, nerves and such for one, that saying no for a lack of sparks seems foolish.
@Lost and Found – Thank you – At least some guys are rational and logical!