Rate My Shadchan

We care what people think of us. No matter how often we’re told that it doesn’t matter. We still care.

We care because it’s a lie that it doesn’t matter. Of course it matters! Those people who are thinking about you are thinking about whether to hire you  or invite you to their event or set you up with their aunt’s second-cousin’s niece. Image control is important, and you need to know what people think.

Luckily, there are so many ways to find out what people think. There’s YouTell.com, in which friends can give you “anonymous” feedback on yourself. (“You smell!”, “I like the way you eat spaghetti so neatly.”) And we have good old fashioned RateMyProfessor for telling the world what you think about your instructor for higher education.

Let’s face it: people love leaving feedback. We use the letters to the editor column, the guest books at museum exhibits, Amazon product reviews, and the “leave a comment” button online liberally. Why are we so eager to give others anonymous feedback? I imagine it’s because we know that, in their position, we’d appreciate the constructive criticism.  After all, without our personal feedback, how will they ever improve.


But sometimes there just isn’t a feedback mechanism in place. Take elementary school teachers for example. How can a student safely provide feedback to his/her teacher? There is no way. And, more relevant to this blog, what about shadchanim? How does a single let the shadchan know that he/she completely rocks or, alternatively, does the exact opposite of rocking?

It was this problem that troubled Dented Skull, and let him to propose a solution, which I will publicize here.

Why not set up a RateMyShadchan.com?

On this site, one would rate the shadchan experience from 1-5 on several parameters. Some of these might be:

The visit –

Private/smooth/pleasant (5)  – to –    (1) interrupted by small children and cakes in the oven

The interview –

Broad but focused on what’s important to you (5)   – to –    (1) Just to check you out and box you in

The interviewer –

Listened and understood (5)   – to –   (1)  Pretended to listen/argued/contradicted

Feedback –

None or a few delicately phrased suggestions (5)   – to –   (1)  Provided harsh or negative criticism

Follow-up –

Within two weeks with a match (5)  – to –  (1) Haven’t heard back even after leaving messages

Matches (if applicable) –

Dreamy, wonderful dates (5)  – to –   (1) Offensive, completely off, or none

Note: there will be no chili pepper rating.

Does this idea have some merit, or is it just an excuse to vent against innocent do-gooders who can’t please picky singles?

I don’t know, but either way it sounds fun. Any web designers want to give it a try?


3 thoughts on “Rate My Shadchan

  1. …or, you could just call the shadchan and nicely say, “thank you for all your help, but I was uncomfortable with the way you (fill in the blank)”, or, “thanks so much! Even though it didn’t work out, you were a pleasure to deal with”.

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