Thursday Link: Queer Marital Harmony for the Straight Couple

I don’t think the Atlantic means its articles to be taken as factual. They’re more like talking points, something to think about, ideas to toss around.

With that prologue, I’m linking to The Gay Guide to Wedded Bliss,” an article about what homosexual family structures can teach hetero couples about division of labor.

Plus, it offers some tantalizing statistics. Like, did you know that having a woman in a relationship correlates to it breaking up? Turns out more women than men request divorce in hetero unions, and more lesbian than gay couples split up. So if you want your marriage to last, marry a man.

The research cited can also suggest what each gender values. Lesbian couples are called out for creating a perfect equality in their relationship, down to the last penny spent, and who carries the next baby. What this tells me is that women see a power structure in everything, and they strive to mitigate any effect it could have on their relationship.

Gay couples are more chilled. They also split the housework — admitting that they do more now than they did in prior hetero marriages. But there’s also a higher likelihood of one man becoming a house-husband (even though there are apparently more power tensions related to income in gay unions). So, although men hang a lot of self-esteem on their bacon-bringing abilities, they still value house-spousing enough to sacrifice for it.

Ironic, isn’t it?

Anyway, go ahead and take a read, then drop a comment below — in that order, please.

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5 thoughts on “Thursday Link: Queer Marital Harmony for the Straight Couple

  1. Looks like a good idea. Seeing “Want to move to Israel” is a big bummer for me, when tagged at the bottom of an otherwise impeccable profile. All those aliya-minded people ought to congregate together somewhere else.

  2. For most young people the idea of living in Israel is just that, an idea based on some emotional connection, or some educational or ideological teaching. (The exceptions might be people who themselves lived in Israel as a child, who have most of their family there, etc). Think of all the young couples who go on aliyah and come back after a couple of years. Considering that all the people who “want” to live in Israel have no idea if they’ll even like living in Israel permanently, maybe people shouldn’t limit their dating options so much. If they end up being perfect mates, they can compromise on where they ultimately settle down.

  3. I don’t support same sex-marriage, but I completely agree that we bring gender stereotypes into relationships. My husband does expect me to do housework and childwork and all other work besides for actually GOING to work. However, I must say that when I am home and he works, I get the easy end of the bargain, and when I am in school and as busy as he is, he helps with the housework.

    I am skeptical anyone can ‘tease out’ why women split more than men. There could be so many reasons and I don’t see how you could account for confounding factors.

    “It’s not that they aren’t ready for marriage; it’s that marriage isn’t ready for the realities of 21st-century life.” Grr! Can’t stand this attitude. Am a huge proponent of marriage and personal responsibility.

    Didn’t finish the article once I realized it had three pages but I’ll buy the book.

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