How to Tell if a Guy Isn’t Interested

1 – He has a car that he used to drive himself to a rented house on the shore, but makes you take a bus to him for the date.

2 – He takes you out to a restaurant… for coffee

3 – Where he sits sideways in his chair, facing away from you

4 – Possibly because he’s too holy to look at women, but more likely because this way he’s facing the waitress in her skinny jeans.

5 – Provides only distracted, monosyllabic answers to whatever you say

6 – Even after you stop saying anything.


Based on a true story. 


17 thoughts on “How to Tell if a Guy Isn’t Interested

  1. I don’t know if the coffee 1 was that accurate. Well maybe it is for the average guy who would want to wine and dine. A casual coffee date doesn’t strike me as a sign of non interest but I can see how it would come off that way to the average dater.

  2. 2 happens to me every time. 1 is happening to me right now. Perhaps it’s time to tell him forget it- I’ll date a guy who doesn’t live in the center of the universe and acts that way.

  3. For #2 on the list, is this better than hotel lobby? But I think it’s jerk move anyway. They have starbucks and coffee bean for coffee date.

  4. For the record I hate Starbucks and coffee places, they are way too loud and ambiance stinks. That’s why I take girls to hotel lobbies, and I’m not Yeshivish. Going to a restaurant and not ordering food is weird (and when the girl has no idea whether there is dinner involved is just not right to her).
    But for all you gals out there complaining about coffee.. why should the guy invest so much early on? I actually would be happy if a girl dumped me because I ‘only’ took her to coffee.

  5. @Guy, you invest in a dinner / lunch in order to get to know a girl and to show that you care. For me at least, meeting someone over a dinner / lunch is easier since if conversation does not go easily you have eating taking up time. Also, if girl is not “the one”at least you eat a good meal!

  6. SG- Yes I do go on Shidduch dates. While its nice to get lunch, it gets very expensive very fast if every 1st/2nd date is a meal.

  7. @ Guy, the reason I asked is then what you were saying previously about not want to invest kind of makes sense, since you do not know what you working with until you actually meet. But in NYC you should be able to find coffee place w/ nice ambiance.

    I go to some shidduch dates, but I have never asked girl out on a hotel lobby, to me it kind of does not sound tnzious & I am unsure why all of the frummies in to that.

  8. Ya’ll are funny. Chances are high I will have recently flown from out-of-state just for the date. What is a little bit more money for a meal after you’ve just plunked down three or four hundred for a plane flight?

  9. Yoyo- most ppl don’t fly for a date. If you did, you probably got to know her rather well over the phone/skype and are planning on spending a whole day together at least.

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