Repost: Why Not Arranged Marriages?

This one is for the comments. Why NOT arranged marriages? 


2 thoughts on “Repost: Why Not Arranged Marriages?

  1. Hey no comment?!?!
    OK I’ll jump.
    Like lots of issues, I think a happy medium is best. Totally arranged would create many unfulfilled (read unhappy) spouses. I think the potential mate MUST make the decision for themselves. This should not preclude a parents friends or guardians input and or weeding.
    The Parent hear about the shidduch, and should decide whether or not the suggestion should pass to the child. A parent can and should weed out a potential for many a reason
    1 midos
    2 incompatible natures, some people just dont get along
    3 background issues, suggested spouse was raised in an abusive environment etc
    4 intelligence, dont pair a serious academic type with a wonderful but learning disabled mate. spouses need to talk
    5 great physical differences, the knitter with guy who does the kuddish every week or vice versa the bookworm with the head of special-events-and-sports councilor
    6 if you know your child wants a tall short shaved blond curly-payos broad thin spouse, shallow at it may seem, remember that love at first sight is a Hollywood invention. Start with attraction and let it grow into the real deal.

    If the older and (hopefully) wiser adult feels there a chance then and only then, inform the child about the potential shidduch, this spares them from much unnecessary and needed heartache.
    You cant shield your child from the real world forever, but you can give ’em a leg up.

    And I thank you for indulging me with this rant.

  2. I have mix feeling about it. The obvious benefits to have spouses naturally meet each other, but nowadays it’s challenging and people are very picky. I have Indian co-worker who was in arrange marriage situation. Parents handed to him a list of girls (w/pics) & he have to pick one. He seems happy w/ his pick.

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