Glossary

A glossary of terms occasionally used on this blog, for the new or rusty, or those who simply don’t have minds that operate exactly like mine:

1DD – The One Date Dump. This differs from “One n’ Done” in that OnD is a type of very brief dating sequence, whereas 1DD is a maneuver pulled by one of the parties in a OnD.

Also4 – older brother, still dating.

Bad4 Shidduchim – that’s me. Bad4 is the first name, Shidduchim is the last name. Not to be confused with BadforShidduchim, the blog.

Best4 – this is my biggest brother. He’s Best4 because he was snapped up by the first woman who went out with him, and also because he decided he wanted to be called that. Most notable accomplishment: producing the finest kinfauna any aunt could want.

BNB – bayis ne’eman biyisroel

Done4 – this older sister is finally done for in the shidduch arena. Having a husband will do that to you.

FDO – First Date Outfit. This is a standard set of clothing carefully chosen as nicest or most versatile. It is worn on every single first date with very few exception. This makes first dates easier and less worrisome.

Good4 – younger sister, just back from seminary and starting to date.

IT – in town. This covers the greater New York City area, as well as certain areas nearby in the tri-state area that are indistinguishable from the New York orthodox community. It doesn’t matter if you’re from a different city and in a different city – you’re still out of town because you’re out of New York.

Kinfauna – One inclusive word for nieces and nephews. There has been contention that someone’s already suggested “niflings,” but I’ll wait til Noah Webster weighs in before I give up.

LBS – Little Black Sneakers. These versatile items of footwear are used by orthodox women who want to wear something comfortable but that will also not clash too much with their somewhat dressier (non-denim) skirt and black socks.

MF – An NMF who’s been married for 12 months or has had her first child.

Minor-league BT – someone who was always religious but has shifted to the right of his/her family and upbringing.

MMRC – The Miserably Married Revenge Club. You know who the members are unless you’re a member.

Mr. and Mrs. Shidduchim – those are the parental units for this blog. Poor things.

NEF – Newly Engaged Friend. ‘Nuff said. Okay, maybe not. NEFs are open targets for all types of teasing and good-natured abuse, the theory being that they’re too happy and self-absorbed to notice.

NMF – Newly Married Friend. This title lasts until shana rishona is over. These are the people you can’t visit, can’t call, can’t  get together with for the life of you because they’re so busy  being newly married and anxious about their spouse.

OOT – out of town. You know where that is. It’s anyplace that’s not here.

OnD – One n’ Done. You go out once. ‘Nuff said.

POS – pathetic older single. An ambiguous term without defined usage. Possibly community dependent.

S7D – Standard Seven Date Sequence. This is reference to the ultra-orthodox, non-chassidish practice of going on approximately 7 or so dates before engagement. Sometimes more, sometimes less. This isn’t a hard and fast rule. Just a convenient way of generalizing.

Sconcer – to look over someone’s shoulder while you’re speaking to them, so you can scan the room for more interesting people to talk to.

Smearcat – a cat that’s been… well, roadkilled.

Women in Black – You know how you have to be “seen”? And how you have to be careful how you act and dress because of who might “see” you? Who are you anxious about? The Women in Black. These women, who wear black suits to weddings, have their eagle eyes on you from the second you come back from Israel until you walk down the aisle. After that they’re keeping an eye on your stomach. (Applies to females only, though I’ve noticed the male waistline tends to grow after marriage as well.)

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