Sincerest Apologies

For being so spotty. I haven’t had much time to sit down with my laptop recently, and then I’m usually deleting spam and returning emails.

Lucky for you there are other blogs out there. Im Yirtzeh Hashem is relatively new,  chatty, and properly punctuated. What I like about it is that it’s written by a guy. So you get this wonderfully honest (I hope) post about appearances that completely restores your faith in mankind.

Turns out that men aren’t so different from us after all – give or take some facial hair. I like this post, about becoming The Older Single. So far, there are still plenty of people around who are older than me. But what if someday soon I become The Older Single that all the neighbors slip into their prayers, and at whom all the bais yaakov students glance sideways and pityingly? Oh the skin crawls!

But at the same time, I’m kind of glad I haven’t gotten married yet. I mean, who has time for it all? Yes, I know. Marriage is like having a kid. If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll die without it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see the benefits in remaining single. I mean, it’s not like I could help it anyway. And I have a policy about things that I can’t help: don’t sweat ’em. If possible, enjoy ’em. So I am.

Enjoy the reading! I’ll be back as soon as I’ve cleared my inbox, data-entried my expenses, and cooked and ate dinner.

Reasons to Marry Me

Several years ago a college graduate, Jamie Varon, wanted very much to work for Twitter. Unable to get a job, she started a website Twitter Should Hire Me, listing the reasons that the site should add her to the payroll.

I was reminded of this when Cheeky sent me a link to an article about a guy with a blog about why to marry him. The blog is actually kinda cute, in a super-self-deprecating sort of way. Also sad, because he obviously has such a low sense of self-worth, and you wonder why, and if anything can be done about it.

But his site got me thinking. Why should anyone marry me? Naturally I believe I’m a wonderful person with lots to offer. But getting down to it, could I list 38 reasons? (Okay, he can’t either. Most of those sound like reasons to stay away. But the basic idea…) What about, oh, eighteen reasons? And would my friends agree with that list, or would they cough, glance sideways at each other, and say something polite but noncommittal?

And then of course there’s the supply and demand thing: what you’ve got has to be what people are interested in marrying, and those people have to also be people you’re interested in marrying… has anyone ever tried doing an economic theory on committed relationships?

It could become a big deal. We could have dating actuaries to tell us how much we can demand for our package of traits and how to raise our market value by developing new talents, hobbies, or characteristics. There would be quadratic and differential equations for dating! [eyes go shiny and excited] C’mon, how cool would that be?

Okay, maybe not. But still.

Then we could have business cycles for daters, with the “Shidduch Crisis” relabeled as the “Great Dating Depression” of the 21st century. We’d be historic figures, and all our attempts at finding The One using speed dating, online dating, Shidduch Vision, singles events, End the Madness, and goodness knows what else, will go into history books in bold letters like the PWA and the New Deal and all the related programs. Instead of being jaded singles, we’d become historic characters. How cool would that be?

Okay, I’d rather just get married. But still.

Fine. Time to stop theorizing and come up with my 38 reasons. I think I’m going to have to call in the reserves on this one.

Ding-aling-aling… “Hello? Grandma? I have a question…”