Friday Repost: Okay, THIS is Pressure

Last week’s repost was about family exerting “pressure” on you to get married. Following that post, someone sent in a real live example of pressure from her dear old grandmother.

…Well, no surprise there. Grandmothers are the main source of marriage-directed pressure in my life. Possibly the only one. I don’t understand why. They already have grandchildren. Do they also need great-grandchildren? Isn’t that just a little bit greedy?

Or is it something different? Maybe it’s like the difference between how you treat children and grandchildren. Grandparents can tell you the stuff your parents really want to say, because they’re not your parents.

If that’s the case, I don’t want to know about it…

Imagine You Were on a Desert Island with…

How’s this for a writing prompt? Imagine being stuck on a desert island with your grandmother.

My full write-up of the event is much longer, but there was a recurring conversation that bears some relevance to our topic here:

Granny: So, nu. Now that you don’t have anything to distract you, can you maybe get married? As a favor for me?

Me: Savta, we’re on a desert island. There’s nobody here to marry!

Granny: And you know that because you’ve checked under every rock and tree? You never know from where comes the yeshua.

Me: It’s a Far Side-style desert island. There’s only one tree, and we’re under it.

Granny: So, nu, Hashem should send a nice shipwrecked boy to help us out–

Me: –I’d prefer one with a working ship, if it’s okay with you–

Granny: –you can never tell when the yeshua will come. My friend’s cousin’s brother-in-law in Lakewood had a sister, she was single until she was 29 lo aleinu, and she met a nice nurse in the ER that she married. Boruch Hashem for that car crash!

Me: [sigh] Yes, I’m sure this massive shipwreck and loss of life was all so that I can meet up with a well-tanned bashert.

Granny: You never know why things happen. I’m telling you, you never know. Boruch Hashem.

Thursday Links

Don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it… that’s what’s went through my head this Rosh Hashana during the well-wishing when I had to paste a smile on my face while listening to how this year I should find The One.

It’s not that I’m not interested.  I’d be very excited to find The One. But I get bored of always hearing about it, and always having it at the top of the list, above health, wealth, happiness and all that other good stuff. Just one Rosh Hashana I would like to hear someone say, “This year you should love every minute of it and only shed tears when you’re laughing so hard you can’t breath.”

Anyway, Frumanista had a moment like that, which inspired this little musing.

Grandmothers

Sometimes I wonder if it’s at all possible to give a grandmother nachas while still single. It’s kinda frustrating. All the responses below are taken almost verbatim, although, to be fair to my grandmothers, they were not all from the same person in a single conversation.

Grandmother: Bad4, it’s so nice to see you. Nu, what’s happening? When do we get to hear some nachas from you?

Me: Gran! I graduated!

Grandmother: That’s great. What’s next, a nice young man?

Me: With honors. And I won an award too.

Grandmother: I don’t understand why such a smart girl like you can’t seem to find a shidduch. Maybe you scare off the boys?

Me: I’m moving to Lakewood to be near my awesome job for an international corporation.

Grandmother: That’s good. I hear there’s a yeshiva there. Maybe you’ll meet someone. You know what they say: shoneh makom shoneh mazal.

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!