You know those soppy sonnets about how her eyes are blue as the sky, her lips as red as a rose, etc? Well, it’s about time someone updated the concept, don’t you think? This poem was inspired by two separate comments regarding my hair both made by geeky types.
Geek: I would love to calculate the Hooke’s Law constant for your hair.
Me: Awwww…. I think. (Well, at least it’s a step up from “Can I pull one? Please?”)
Why stop there? A romantic geek could keep going, putting all his love into scientific and mathematical metaphors. I know this sonnet isn’t quite at the level of John Donne, my poetic hero, but it’s a start. I hope it inspires a new wave of geeky love poetry for the age.
The Love Poem of J. Alfred Einstein
I love to gaze at your beautiful eyes
Reflecting wavelength 754
I cannot maintain a realistic guise
That your hair’s cysteine bonds hold no allure.
The Hooke’s Law constant I would calculate
For every curl that you’ll ever grow
But Oh! I simply cannot concentrate
For you define the golden ratio.
Around you time passes at the speed of C,
And matters compress to Boson size
The answer’s always 1 for P(A&B)
Because I have already won the prize.
You be a charm quark and a strange I’ll be
And we’ll match our spins through eternity.