Get Thee to a Shadchan! (If You’re Male)

It’s not like nobody wants to set up older girls. Well, maybe some don’t. But based on what I understand, the problem isn’t not wanting to set up the gir— I mean women – it’s that guys tend not to go to shadchanim. As a result, shadchanim wind up with long lists of women and short lists of men. It’s really not a promising start.

It’s like the singles events. Women go because they figure they should give it a shot. Men go only if they’re totally desperate. The result: a totally lopsided pool of attendees.

So I don’t see this as a game changer.

If they want to change the game, they should bribe normal, young men to visit shadchanim. Preferably the same shadchanim frequented by the women. Now that might make a difference.

Why There Are No Good Guys Left

Because my friend just married the last one.

Every now and then you bump into one of those jaded daters who insist that there are “no good guys left.” For a while I had a couple of these as friends. Their statement always filled me with great hope. I mean, if there’s no good guys left, then I can just stop dating! No more dressing up and getting excited and sitting in a coffee shop becoming more disillusioned by the minute. I can abandon hope, and losing hope is very liberating.

Sadly, none of these friends have ever been able to provide statistics to back up their claim. Even worse, they all got married.

Naturally, when they got engaged I felt compelled to tease them. Clearly, I pointed out, they’d been forced to settle. Or else they’d had to import their guy from overseas (Asia, maybe?) or steal him out of high school. They always respond by blushing and denying that they settled or scraped in the slightest. Their explanation? “I got the last good one.”

And here I thought they were my friends. I mean, thanks tons! That makes me feel better. You’ve just taken the last good guy and abandoned me and all your other single friends in a world full of no-good guys. With friends like you, who needs Women in Black?

But to be honest, it does make me feel better. Because so many of these friends are positively convinced that they got the last good guy out there. When you tally it up, that’s a whole lot of last guys. And if there could be six last good guys for all my jaded friends, well, that means there’s bound to be one more floating around. For me, of course. Not my other single friends. If there’s a last good guy out there, I’m going to do my very best to snag him before any of you can.

On your mark, get set, GO!

[Note: I have this feeling that I already published this post once, but when I tried to dig it up I couldn’t. So if this sounds familiar to anyone, apologies. It sounds familiar to me too.]

Now Here’s a Solution I Hadn’t Thought Of…

(Of which I hadn’t thought)

Marrying yourself.

After all, one is company, two’s a crowd, right? And who is more perfectly matched for themselves than themselves? You’re already used to your peccadilloes (which aren’t even so bad). You don’t mind picking up after yourself, you love your food, and you think all your jokes are hysterically funny. You never disagree on what to do with a Sunday afternoon, whether it’s too hot or too cold in the bedroom, or what newspaper to subscribe to. Yep, I think she’s on to something there…

Hat tip to the Overland Park reader and SiBaW.