Get Thee to a Shadchan! (If You’re Male)

It’s not like nobody wants to set up older girls. Well, maybe some don’t. But based on what I understand, the problem isn’t not wanting to set up the gir— I mean women – it’s that guys tend not to go to shadchanim. As a result, shadchanim wind up with long lists of women and short lists of men. It’s really not a promising start.

It’s like the singles events. Women go because they figure they should give it a shot. Men go only if they’re totally desperate. The result: a totally lopsided pool of attendees.

So I don’t see this as a game changer.

If they want to change the game, they should bribe normal, young men to visit shadchanim. Preferably the same shadchanim frequented by the women. Now that might make a difference.

There’s a Price on My Head

The thing I like the most about this NASI game changer is that it puts a price on my singleness. Marrying me is worth $8,000.

That is, there’s an $8,000 bounty offered to any man or woman who can successfully eliminate me from the shidduch pool. So, according to NASI, that’s the value of my (uncovered) head.

Now, I’m all for paying a shadchan and so on, and I understand that I’m a tough case, so $3,000 won’t cut it. But $8,000 is a whole lot to give away to a stranger. It’s like a dowry, but minus being able to use it on your household after.

I would rather offer the money to my husband-to-be, as a bribe for him to present himself a little sooner rather than later. He is very welcome to $8,000 from my account (prenup agreement requiring marriage of >5yrs), which, of course, he can use to pay off the sheitel mortgage.

After all, if we’re going to put a price on my hair and I’m going to be paying the bounty, why shouldn’t I call the shots on who it goes to and when and how?