It’s always been a mystery to me: why am I still single? Well, somebody knows, and she wrote it in to the Chronicles of Crisis this past week. For those who don’t read this oh-so-essential column, here’s the lowdown. If you’re still single, you probably fall into one of these categories:
1 – You’re obsessively spiritual
2 – You will only accept perfection
3 – You have a psychological need for a parental figure and don’t socialize well with people your own age
4 – Require a spouse they can worship on a pedestal
5 – Require a knight in shining armor to wrap them up in fluffy clouds and chase the big scary world away
6 – You’re fat, frumpy, or you have a big nose
The author has come up with these six categories, and notes that she doesn’t fit into any of them. She therefore wonders why she’s still single. I think she neglected one category:
7 – You’re an insufferable know-it-all.
Now, perhaps it is true that all single people fit into at least one of these categories. However, you can’t conclude your correlation = causation theory without checking the other end. Meaning, how many married people fit into these categories?
I admit that I don’t have enough friends to create a statistically significant pool, but I believe I have MFs who fit into most of those categories. Definitely into category 6. I’ve met men and women who fit into category 5 who are married; four – possibly, it’s a little hard to diagnose one’s friends; and one – definitely. Even category sevens get married sometimes.