You know all those guys who say they want a girl with a “sparkling personality”? I’ve always wondered what that meant. Okay, maybe I haven’t. While I can’t define it exactly, I know it when I see it. For example, I know I don’t sparkle, twinkle, or coruscate in any way. Whereas the classmate who got engaged twice within six months of high school graduation kind of did. And I’m nothing like her. (Heck, I haven’t gotten engaged once in seven years!) So my SOP has always been to chuck those “sparkling personality” profiles as non-starters.
Shadchan: Why don’t you want to go out with him?
Me: He’s looking for a sparkler. I’m more a roman candle.
Well, I was at the Shabbos table of a couple, and The Wife was explaining how she knew that her Husband was The One for her. “I wanted a guy with fire in his eyes!” she gushed. “That enthusiasm! And he had it.”
“She just sparkled,” Husband gazed back adoringly. “She was what I was always looking for.”
My friend and companion leaned over the chulent and whispered in my ear, “Aren’t they such a cute couple?”
“Yes,” I whispered back. “But should it change it any that they’re grandparents?!”
“No!” she hissed. “They’re still an adorable couple.”
I suppose they were both still sparkling and flaming together. Whatever.
So I’m moving on to another word. In my old age, I’ve seen a large number of shidduch profiles. And do you know what every single guy puts on his “looking for” list? “Kind” or “caring” and “sincere.” Always sincere. What the heck does that mean? Sincere about what? Who isn’t sincere, aside from a sociopath? Even those disgustingly kind people who are nice to you only because they think you’re desperately lonely are, at least, sincere in their intentions. (Which are based on ameliorating their feelings more than yours, but hey, they really and sincerely mean well.) So can someone please describe to me an insincere woman? Or sincere one. Either will do.