Once in seminary I was lolling on my bed describing the kind of person I wanted to marry. About halfway through describing the perfect, thoughtful, well-adjusted, straight-shooting, considerate, and probably non-existent male, I paused and went sheepish.
“I guess I have a bit of a double standard,” I admitted, realizing that I wasn’t exactly the most perfect female myself.
While dating, a person gets to meet a lot of people with character traits that rub them wrong. Every now and then I pause and wonder how many intolerable traits I have myself.
At the bottom of my “things to do while single” list – where all the really worthwhile ideas seem to congregate – is “While waiting for the perfect man, become the perfect woman.” Unfortunately, like most things down there, it tends not to get addressed.
So here’s a new resolution to improve in ways not measurable by test scores or physical evaluation. If you catch me reneging in any way whatsoever, do let me know.
Bad for Shidduchim 
wow is that vague.
Very inspiring.
Take it any way you want to, but at a meal with friends years ago the idea of perfection came up. One of the men said, “I don’t want a perfect woman, I want a purr-fect woman.” Yup, men and women think differently.
I don’t know how anyone could live with someone who was really perfect. Perfectionists are hard enough!
Wouldn’t be irritating to be around someone who never got upset at you but always was constructive? Its nice to know that people have actual flaws. (and then of course you have the people whom even their flaws are perfect. and one should take them, quickly.)
I think my wife found the perfect husband, but shee disagrees.
Ok, now comment nymber three is not so appropriate. I am not a believer in spweing out everything that’s on your mind just cuz it’s online and anonymous.
M – I hope you’re just doing the whole facetious Yated letter shtick. Lighten up. ProfK is telling it like it is.
Would you like me to upset you further?
My father reminds me often that “Men think with their…” he doesn’t have to finish the sentence.
They aren’t wrong.
I don’t know if you necessarily have a double-standard from what you’re saying.
We all have certain standards we seek in a spouse. If you think you’re going to marry someone “perfect,” you’re an idiot. We all know nobody’s perfect.
I would think you’re guilty of having a double standard if you demand certain things of him that you don’t do. For example, you can’t expect him to not like TV while you watch Gossip Girl every week.
realizing that I wasn’t exactly the most perfect female myself.
::swoons…faints::
As I was often reminded…You’re not looking for the ‘perfect person’, you’re looking for the ‘perfect person for you‘.
—I think my wife found the perfect husband, but shee disagrees.…yours too huh?
Wow, bomb of a post. Striving for perfection is admirable, in ourselves and others, with the realization that it will help us grow. When you find the person your’e looking for, I hope you will pursue that goal together.
Pingback: Friday Repost: Marrying Me | Bad for Shidduchim