I happen to agree with the message of the video. People who get hung up on slight differences in age are, quite frankly (imho) stupid. (Sorry, friend who won’t date someone even a few months younger.) But then again, is it different than getting hung up on hair color or something like that? Dunno.
Anyway, the fact that it needs saying is kind of embarassing.
Oh, and the rest of it. (Is it assur for Orthodox Jewish men to powder their noses for the camera?)
Bad for Shidduchim 
I am 7 years older than my wife.
My younger sister’s married to a man about 3 years younger than her.
My older sister’s married to a man 16 years older than her.
We’re all happily married, thank you very much.
Very well-done ad. And yes, agree. Hubby is 7.5 years older than me. Dunno if that means I was mature or he was immature. 🙂 (He says that there’s a maturity only marriage will give you, and I agree)
It does matter. When I was younger I dated girls older than myself, but now at 26, I will not date a girl who is older. My friend right now wants me to go out with a 28 year old. By the time we get married and have our first kid she’ll be 30 earliest. I do not want to give up the opportunity of having many kids. Now, obviously I don’t know how many kids I and my (future) wife really will want to have. Each child is a huge emotional and financial strain and I’ll take ’em one at a time, but I do not want to give up the opportunity. Besides that older women have a harder time getting pregnant and that they become more bitter and picky, I do not want to give up the opportunity of having many kids.
You can tell me I’m too logical about it all and everything is in G-ds hands and blah blah blah, but you know I’m right 🙂
Also interesting that my friend never dated a girl older than himself and his wife is 4 years younger, but feels it’s okay to tell me to date older.
I haven’t researched this myself, but I did read that the ‘biological clock ticking: thing is based on outdated numbers. (I think on the blog, actually). So check it up. Also, younger girls could also have fertility problems without knowing it. You may even have a fertility problem.
I’m sure he’s already had himself tested 😀
iyhby, I’m so glad my husband disagrees with you. Please don’t play G-d.
You know actually the age of the man seems to matter more. Recent studies have shown that a lot of disorders like autism depends more on the age of the male (and the biological clock seems to be around 30). Turns out that the spermatozoides have a higher probability of mutation with age, which is not the case of the ovules, all produced at a very young age.
miaou – Please! Can you find research for that? Maybe I shouldn’t be dating men over 30….
Malki – Well yay for your husband, but sorry, God believes in logic too. Don’t expect to marry a 50 year old and say hmmm… why aren’t we having kids? Sometimes you need to use some saychal.
As for those studies, well there’s studies both ways. Either way older guys can produce more kids than older women. And I’m whatever age I am, but I can control the age of the girls I date.
Re iyhby,
Makes sense and I wish you much hatzlocha.
Of course limiting yourself to younger women may cause you to stay single longer. It would be ironic if you eventually marry a woman younger than yourself — who will be 28+ year old.
The irony would come from the facts that she would likely have no more years to have kids than the woman who is 28 year old today, you would lose out on the experience of having kids when you are more youthful, and you would have that many fewer years to enjoy with your family (since you will be older at your wedding).
Possibly, or maybe that will happen this year. My neighbor wants me to go out with a 28 year old and I told her even though it’s against my policy I’ll do it only for her sake (it’s complicated) if it does not work out with the girl I am currently dating. Actually the girl I am going out with now is too young for me (also against my policy)! But we’re dating because…. well, also complicated.
Well, what can I write, iyhby, but “IYHBY.”
Wow, iyhby, you seem to have a very complicated life.
Kong et al. Nature. 2012; 488(7412): 471–475. for the correlation between the dad’s age and the probability of having autist kids. I know there are also other genetic disorders concerned, but I don’t have the publications at hand. I can try to have a look if you’re interested 😉
Sigh. The real irony would be if (in light of the other comments here) nice frum girls start doing some biological research of their own and the guys start hearing: “Well, by the time we got married and started having kids he’d be near 30…And, I mean, do I really want to take the risks of having kids with a guy that age?”
This system is so messed up. People seem to forget that they’re ultimately looking to marry a HUMAN BEING. Not a freaking dress size or an incubator or an ATM.
Agree, Shira.
Disagree. She would be correct. If a girl has an option of going out with two equally qualified guys, once 25, the other 30, she should date the 25 year old.
When it comes down to it, because of our system we are reduced to what is on a piece of paper. And many girls fall into very few different categories, so I am left with the option of dating a 28 year old or a 23 year old both sounding pretty much the same. Why should I date the 28 year old?
The same should go from her side, she should say yes to a 25 year old over a 30 year old.
We are dating HUMAN beings, but I am not only getting married to be in a relationship with someone. I also am hoping to have children through her. Both things I have to think about.
And then if she’s 28 and won’t date 28 year old guys, and he’s 28 and won’t date 28 year old girls…and younger people certainly won’t date either of them…all because of vague fertility concerns that ultimately only affect a marginal percentage of people in that age range anyway (…just so that maybe possibly if you feel like it at some point in the future you can have lots of kids, which it sounds like you aren’t even sure is important to you)…you really don’t see anything wrong with this picture?
To me it seems like just another thing that’s getting chalked up on the list next to “his parents are divorced” or “her father can’t support me for the next 8 years.” Just another stupid social standard that may even have had a reason behind it at some point, for some people, but that ultimately no one even thinks about that much anymore before marking an automatic big red X.