Separating the Simchos

I was in a household goods store with my mother thumping pot bottoms. And I thought: wow, I’m so lucky I get to do this before being engaged.

Outfitting your own home is fun. Your own place is completely fresh and full of potential. You can handpick every item according to your own particular taste. Your kitchen, you are determined, will not be hampered by outdated infrastructure. So, part crusader, part little girl choosing kitchen set accessories, you march the aisles of gleaming steel, teflon, and silicone. Since you need pretty much everything, there isn’t anything in the household goods store that you can’t examine critically, tilting your head as you furrow your brow, imagining it perched on your counter, or dicing your vegetables, or holding your chicken.

Did I mention? It’s fun!

And getting married is fun too. Mixing the two together is only going to dilute them both. And how unfortunate is that? Joy should be spread for maximum happiness. So I’m glad to have this fun now, separate from the marrying, which I will reserve to enjoy at some nebulous point in the future.

Also, there is one benefit to having to buy everything yourself. You don’t wind up with silicone tray that makes ice cubes shaped like daisies, six separate measuring cup sets, or Great Aunt Bertha’s idea of a beautiful vase.

15 thoughts on “Separating the Simchos

  1. i am sorry to say, but joy shared with someone else is only increased.

    (on the other hand, most men feel no joy from shopping for kitchen items.)

  2. Well, the Mickey Mouse bowl/plate set IS the best way to go for milchigs! And I am a woman! (a woman whose one of her first presents from her husband was a huge Mickey-Minnie sticker which we produly hang in the bathroom)

  3. Yes, he does. 😛 And yes, the dishes are awesome.

    Buying your own stuff does have advantages as opposed to having to pretend you like something. Only a week ago, we got a gift from a cousin that couldn’t make it to the wedding and it was…not to our tastes…but I had to make nice and tell them how pretty it is, etc. etc. Wasn’t so much fun.

  4. You do realize everything (not everything, but a lot of stuff) you buy needs to be de-labeled, toveled, and washed (unless you go to a store where that service is included). There can be something fun about shopping for houseware type stuff, even for males, but eventually furnishing and stocking a dwelling becomes more of a chore than a hobby. I think Bed Bath and Beyond is the Toys-R-Us of adults, although I personally have strong loyalties towards Ikea. 😛 Regardless, I get this feeling that no matter how much one buys, there is always more stuff that “needs” to be purchased to make a dwelling a home. Besides, the most annoying thing about buying these objects: moving, unpacking, and organizing. Oh, and shelf-lining, how could I have forgotten about shelf lining! 🙂 Indeed, way too much fun for one individual… 😉

  5. I got married in March, and most of my stuff is still in the back seat/trunk of my car, waiting to be toveled…

  6. Toiveling Tip: In cold weather, wear rubber dish-washing gloves while toiveling to keep your hands semi-warm (or at least not frozen)

  7. Other Toveling Tips: Goo-Gone is wonderful for removing labels and any other random goop.
    Bring a towel to the mikva. Things get wet.
    Wash everything you tovel as soon as you can afterwards, especially metal items. Dish mikva water can get icky and acidic, and can damage the surfaces of your new stuff if you leave it on for too long.

    Congratulations on setting up your new kitchen!

  8. Don’t kid yourself about the gifts Especially, Great Ant Bertha’s idea of a beautiful vase.

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