The NMF Twist

Us poor, deprived singles have little to put light in our life. One of our few cherished pleasures is snickering at our NMFs (newly married friends) and NEFs (newly engaged friends). NMF #7 alerted me to yet another thing to poke fun at while we waited for the chupa to begin at NMF #8’s wedding.

If you ever speak to an NMF at a wedding, you may noticed that their attention is not quite as focused on you as it could be. Whenever a hat or pair of pants wanders by, their eyes flicker, their face turns, and sometimes, their entire head twists. This is the NMF Twist. It is caused by the anticipation of seeing their Very Own walk past, and the possibility of exchanging goo-goo eyes with them as they do.

For the lonely, insecure single friend who isn’t sure if she is really likable, this constant peering over of one’s shoulder by one’s conversation partner can be a blow to the self-esteem. It does seem very much like they’re looking around for someone more interesting to talk to. Know and be relieved: they’re just being young couplish. One day you’ll probably be doing the NMF Twist yourself, so be indulgent.


16 thoughts on “The NMF Twist

  1. This poor, deprived single laughed at the NMF twist. This single realized that the NMF did not only turn their hat at every hat and pants, but also did the twist (with a slight jump added) when any slightly older women wearing a wig passed by. This is due to In the Law Itis. Upon the realization that the woman passing was of no familial relataion, the NMF would relax and say to me “Sorry, ummm, what were you saying?” This would result in my wincing and reluctantly repeating what I had already said five times.

  2. It’s gotta be worse when they NMF leaves her husband at home (or waiting in the car). Then they spend the entire night texting or cooing, “my poor husband, i left him all alone!”
    Like a 25 year old guy is incapable of taking care of himself for a few hours.
    Gotta love those NMF’s!!!

  3. There are two things in life that you can make book on and be assured of a win: one is that every girl who has ever said “When I’m married and a mother I am never going to say/act/do what my mother did” will eventually end up channeling her mother and saying/acting/doing just what her mother did. The other is that all singles who poke fun at their NMFs will someday become NMFs and will act in precisely the same way that they are sniggering about now. What goes around comes around.

  4. I alerted you of that? Must be a different NMF.
    But, quite true none the less.
    And, how do you know they can’t survive for a couple of hours without us?
    Maybe they will desperately need a new pair of clean socks during that time period?

  5. Maybe they will desperately need a new pair of clean socks during that time period?

    They can’t wash their own socks? Who was washing their socks before they met you?

  6. Probably their mother, when they came home from the dorm two times a year. That’s a lot of smelly socks. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Was it #6, perhaps? I can’t keep track.

    ProfK – of course. I look forward to performing the NMF Twist on many occasions, if anyone I know is still getting married after I am.

  8. hey bad4 – can you do a post on how to handle the crippling depression that sets in the day after the wedding of a [close] friend?
    maybe im being a little melodramatic…. but how do you keep your spirits up when everyone around you seems to be getting married/engaged and your stuck in this pit of no dates and none coming… and you wonder when it will be your turn, and if it will ever happen for you?
    im projecting here, but humor me…..

  9. For once, Bad4, I might have to disagree.
    I get the feeling they just want someone more interesting to talk to. (Preferably someone married at that.)

  10. ๐Ÿ˜€ Michelle: the NMF told me it was called the Twist, by way of apology for being rude. I’m sure you’re not either that tedious to speak to.

    Sad: I don’t know – I just don’t feel it anymore. I just keep busy with life, friends, personal ambition, etc. I know other people have mentioned it, but nobody has ever mentioned a cure. I could probably post on the self-doubt, though… :-/

    Abby – I read comments as they come in. See the appropriate post for explanation.

  11. Hi! I’m new to your blog. ๐Ÿ™‚
    And here I always thought the NMF were scouting the men’s section so that they could set up their poor deprived single friends.

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  13. I take offense, as I do not exchange goo-goo eyes with my husband, nor do I phone and text him all night if I left him at home. Twice is enough, unless I want to make sure the house is clean when I get back…or I have some other thing that I need to tell him about…or I’m going to get back an hour and a half later than planned because the chuppa was two hours late. Each of those warrants a phone call, preferably a multi-purpose one so that I can enjoy the wedding and leave the phone in my backpack.

    And I don’t think twice counts as glued to the phone. Thank you for listening.

    Oh…and goo-goo eyes are stupid.

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